Who Am I ?

"What's in a name that we call a rose...
By any other name would smell as sweet..."
-Shakespeare

I ain't no "rose" as such but hey it never hurts to quote...
Well my search is still on - Trying to fathom the real Me...
So Here Goes...

Who am I ?
Often I ask Myself
Trying To look within me,
To find the man I am,
Pondering still about what i have,
Yet I know not who I am.

Am I the son every mother desires?
Am I the friend every pal admires?
Am I the love you always dreamt of?
Or am I just the guy next door?
Questions I ask, alibis I give...
Yet failed still
Never knew who am I !!!

Mother, you taught me to walk,
Of wonderous lands and fairies you'd talk,
But look at me now, Ma,
Look at what I've become,
A heartless soul, an effigy of stone.
When I'd leave you'd hide and cry,
Never for a moment letting me know why.
But never did I hold you,
Never a balm,
Nor a word of affection,
Let alone an arm,
Yet Ma, I look to you now,
Tell me Ma, I need to know...
The questions haunt me endlessly now,
Guide me, mentor me, enlighten me,
Or give me strength to seek answers,
I need to know now who I am.

Sometimes I sit alone and wonder,
About distant dreams and worlds yonder.
But when the need be
My mind would lock itself in a box so tight,
I'd knock all day but not quite.
Even to trust my own,
Even to see the obvious,
Even to recognise the stranger in the mirror I'd shirk and flee,
And yet keep asking...
Who is "ME"?

Wanna be me...

Wanna live my life all over again,
Wanna cherish all those moments,
Wanna do all those crazy things that I did,
Wanna dive down deep and bring out all that I lost,
Wanna make all those things right which never were,
Wanna be the man I never could become or did I?
Wanna see me playing in the sand again,
Wanna hear your bedtime stories Pa,
Wanna rhyme your lullabies too,
Wanna see my brother born again,
Wanna see him smile again,
Wanna find my old jeans,
Wanna see all those dreams,
Wanna go back to school again,
Wanna see me grow up again,
Wanna live my life all over again...

Wanna hide in your bosom Ma, and cry my heart out,
Wanna be the son I never was,
Wanna be everything I ever was,
Wanna be everything I never was,
Wanna know why things happened the way they happened,
Wanna see myself hardened,
Wanna know my metamorphosis,
Wanna know everything inside out,
Wanna know why I laughed,
Wanna know why I cried,
Wanna know why I loved you,
Wanna feel how I loved you,
Wanna feel how it hurt,
Wanna be zipping back in time,
Just to rediscover myself all once again...

Oh to fathom the person I am,
To pack my whole life into a knapsack,
And walk into the horizon,
Never looking back once more,
To be yet with the people I love,
To be always what I wanted to,
Not what I ought to,
To always know what I have and treasure,
To always know that in this world,
There be only two people who love you the most,
Wanna go back into their arms all over again…

To you Mama and Bapa … I Love You.